Affirmation...it's not a game.

Im coming to terms with diapers.

It may seem like we are never at home on the weekends, though I can assure this is not the case all of the time. Lately we have been gone an oddly strange amount, that's changing now. We spent the holiday weekend with Family, well sunday and monday anyway. Awakening sunday morning Mistress was not happy I hadn't messed my diaper, but this was haulted by the fact we needed to get on the road. Driving too our destination we took two cars, I received a text from Mistress B asking if I was plugged, I replied with a hesitant "...no?". She told me she though sissies should be plugged all during the day, to make them more submissive and get them use to having things up there ass....or something like that. I can tell you that was NOT a piece of advice I was passing along to Mistress, though she more than likely already recommended it to her. We enjoyed our get away and I asked Mistress B one question later in the day, if my time with her during training would be only under her roof, or if I would be leaving the house at all. Looking back I almost wish I wouldn't have asked that question. "Some in public, you need to get use to them" was her reply. Use to what I asked, which she stated "your diapers, you need to get use to wearing them 24/7 which is what your Mistress wants, this includes public". Great, one of my biggest fears...diapers in public, I want nothing to do with it! I'm a slim guy, if my pant's are puffy everyone will know, my waddle will be very obvious. "I truly wish you would re think that, I don't want to be exposed or humiliated, I don't want others to know I'm diapered ma'am" (I HAVE to address her as Ma'am and Mistress as Mistress in all communication or it adds 10 spankings to my first punishment session with her...I'm up to 81 apparently, though I think the count is off...my opinion doesn't matter).  "Thats why it's going to be fun! You'll be extra submissive which is where your Mistress needs you".   I enjoyed the day with Mistress, I'm so lucky to call her mine, and even lucky enough to begin the journey to serve her. She truly is stunning, she has a glow about her when she smiles that reinforces why I want to be with her forever when I see it. Laying in bed she had already grabbed a diaper out of the suitcase and put it on me, I was cuddled up next to her when I asked her, as nicely, as sincerely as I could... "Please don't send me to Mistress B....she's alot meaner than you, I think it's going to be a nightmare".  "No, your going, its for sure now...don't ask me again, you need to go" was all she said. Even today it became more evident, they were texting a lot, and it was obvious. Sitting on the floor eating dinner when we finally returned home Mistre
ss giggled and kept smiling when she was looking at her phone, she said "diapers in public!" in a bubbly voice, and I knew my fears had been reaffirmed. Though I'm scared do not think Mistress is crossing a hard limit, she's not. She has few limits (she knows I'd never do anything homosexually related, and she would never make me do that) but other than that she has full control. If I truly wanted to stop this process I could look her in the eye and make it end, but I see how much happier she is now. After dinner she told me to lay on the bed, she inserted the medium plug in me and put on my black thong to hold it in. "Come on, across my lap now" she said sitting on the edge of the bed with a wooden spoon in hand. I didn't even fight it, it would have been pointless.
"You were bad this weekend" as she spanked me after each of the following statements.
-Yes Mistress  I replied.
"You did NOT call me Mistress, you are to do that EVERY Time"
-Yes Mistress.
"You did not behave and you weren't respectful"
-Yes Mistress (the blows began to multiply between statements)
"You are to always hold the door for me and allow me to enter first, anywhere, anytime, no questions!"
-Yes Mistress

I understand why I must be kept in chastity now.

"You are to listen and not sigh when I ask you to do something"
-Yes Mistress (now my ass is glowing and each strike is causing me to squirm)
"You are to do whatever I say immediately with no hesitation"
-Yes Mistress
The statements stopped and the spanking continued for a few minutes
"You understand why I'm sending you to Mistress B?"
-Yes Mistress
"It's going to be hell! this spanking is going to seem like massage!"
-Yes Mistress with pain in my voice
"Your going to be sleeping standing up chained in a closet! So fun!"
-Yes Mistress
"She's not going to put up with your attitude, your ass will be raw!"
-Yes Mistress
"Do you understand what I've said sissy?"
-Yes Mistress
She left me across her lap, gently rubbing my bright red bottom. She held me for a minute then told me to get to cleaning and report back when I was done. In the middle of my attempt to shine the kitchen, she put the posture collar on me, as if the plug wasn't bad enough. An hour passed and I was done. I really needed to use the rest room but she simply replied "too bad" and ignored me. She then took me into the bedroom and told me to prepare the chains on the bed for my hypnosis files. Chaining my arms to the bed (I might add when she plugged me, she put my heels on me, they are still on) she pulled them tight, blind fold which was wrapped again to ensure darkness, and my files began being pumped into my head. The files were some I hate, because I'm an ass guy, Mistress's ass is perfect and large...the good kind of large, shes not overweight by any means. The file was focused on building a stronger ass fetish for any women I see, yet not being allowed to get off. It played on loop for what seemed like hours. When she finally turned it off I was so happy to be out of the darkness. I got up and stretched and immediately wet my diaper without thinking about it, then I messed without giving second thought.   "What was that" I thought... I walked by the window in the kitchen and looked at myself in the reflection... heels causing my ass to stick out, legs straight, diaper wrapped around me. "This is life now, this is what your becoming...at least it looks...kind of cute?" was what rushed through my mind. It's sad how scared I am of changing, I'm becoming more submissive daily, more dependent on her daily...and training truly hasn't begun. I don't think it will until she sends me to Mistress B's. Mistress said she will have my first weekend training planned and a date by mid week more than likely, and its possibly as close as the coming weekend.  When Mistress had me across her lap, Its clear shes growing much more confident. And my spankings tonight did not count towards my total tally for Mistress B's... She's still going to spank me for not addressing Mistress properly as well.

Goodnight, I hate falling asleep in a very diaper.
Debbie.

I "wet the bed" and Mistress is happy.

I'm sure I will update these evening with a very long, detailed post on this evening's upcoming events. Though I'm not sure what they are, I wanted to update you on something that happened after my post last night due to the abnormal nature of it. I'm still trying to get my head around it and can't believe it happened. In my last post I stated I was typing in a very wet diaper; which meant the front was soaked. "Ok, so what" your more than likely thinking, I sleep in a wet diaper every night, it's nothing new. Well upon waking up this morning (I slept like a rock last night) I noticed how heavy my diaper was, about four times the weight of normal. As I began to walk around I noticed myself in the mirror...it was flooded, the crotch was soaked and the rear up to my back was soaked (something that happens when your laying down). I looked at the bed and a small spot was wet... There's no way, I began to think... I kept trying to rule it out, then I realized... I wet the "bed" last night. I had no recollection of going that much, I've never gone in my sleep, it really screwed with me.
I told Mistress about it and she simply smiled, she didn't even care that the bed was wet. "I guess I need to wear my panties at night" I asked. She smiled and nodded "This is good! It's what your suppose to do" she proclaimed. Before falling asleep last night she softly said that she could not wait to get me in my kennel at nights, this reinforces it. After the emotions I felt yesterday and the incontinent act I performed during my sleep last night, I can't explain what's happening. This makes me worried, I don't want to be dependent on diapers! Im in my mid twenties!


Debbie

The first waves of Feminization, the making of a sissy.

Sunday was an unusual day to say the least for me, though I fear days like it may become the new normal. The first half of the day was no different than normal; I went out and worked at some of our property. When I arrived home she told me it was time for me to do my chores. Which was fine at first thought, I truly don’t mind helping out around the house, because it makes her happy. I think that’s why I even agreed to live this lifestyle in the first place; she truly has taken it to heart, and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen her this happy, confident, and content in our four years together. I Love her more than words can describe, so if me making these sacrifices make her the happiest girlfriend…or Mistress in the world; I’m happy to play along…though I don’t think it’s a game anymore.

Apologies for the diversion; she told she needed to get me ready for my chores:

1.) Organize and detail the Laundry Room

2.) Clean the Kitchen and do all the dishes

3.) Sweep all of the floors and vacuum the rugs

4.) Clean her Master bedroom

5.) Iron 15 pairs of pants (I.Hate.Ironing)

Upon entering the bedroom she told me to strip, and reminded me I was not to wear clothes in the house unless she had picked out the outfit or it was my normal attire of wearing only my diaper. She told me to bend over and grab my ankles, proceeding to insert a small plug into my “sissy hole” as she now calls it, followed by a black thong which she pulled over my hips to help keep

it in place, followed by a pair of red lacy Rhumba panties. Then came a black garter belt, followed by black nylons, white petti-coat, small black maids apron, thick elastic black waist belt (to get me used to corsets she stated), a black lace bra and white elbow gloves completed my attire. Humiliating is an understatement, I hate the idea of being “feminized” yet I know it’s going to be a major part of my transformation into her “Sissy Slave”.  Before sending me off she attached the leather ankle cuffs linking them with a 14 inch long chain, locked of course. Then came her new Posture collar and large ball gag. “Off you go, I’ll check on you in a few hours…I’ll be in my office”. The posture collar hurt like hell, the gag was causing me to drool and the thin plug was moving in and out with each hobbled step. This was not fun.

Upon completion of the chores and my near pain break down of the posture collar she told me it was time for more files, wonderful.  Except this time she chained me to the bed with more attentiveness to what she was doing, stretching my limbs so I was spread eagle and not able to move, attaching a 4 foot spreader bar to my ankles before pulling my legs as tight as she could and locking each to the frame of the bed. Blind fold, gag still in, headphones on and lights out.  The dreaded voice came back through the file except this time it had a new message “Obey Women” for over an hour, then the file went to the next track which was an hour of attempts to make me obsessive of wearing lingerie, and worshiping Mistress’s strap on. I just wanted it to end. But it didn’t, it kept playing and found myself lost in time once again with my subconscious leaving me questioning who I was becoming, it’s clear I was no longer the man of the house. The light peeked through my blind fold when she came in the room, sitting next to me simply smiling and petting me. “Good Boy” she repeated.

“Did you enjoy the files sissy?”

“Not hardly” I replied.

“You will.” Grabbing my caged cock and shaking it in her hand “You know this wont be inside me for along time, maybe ever. Vanilla sex as you knew it is a thing of the past. But don’t worry, you’ll still get to enter me, I just need to go buy some numbing cream first”.   I gulped at the thought of this, was it really happening, so fast? But she promised me in the beginning I would still get sex! In my mind I was protesting, dare not out loud.

“Don’t worry I’ll start fucking you soon, your going to grow to love my cock.” Smiling, she said no more. She diapered me and I was off to bed with some hope of a reward. Before passing out I heard “Make a mess in your diaper for me by morning, and you’ll be rewarded”.  I knew one way or another, I had to make a mess.  “Are you really telling yourself to mess your diaper, looks like her brain washing is working” I thought silently to myself.

“Good night sissy, get ready for tomorrow” was the last peep I heard out of her while I fell asleep with my face in her ass, as she’s now instructed me to do every night. I noticed the hug of the diaper, and began to think about how comfortable it was...maybe become dependent on them won't be so bad?

Isolation Punishment, reality setting in

First, let me apologize for the horrid format of the last post! I could not for the life of me figure out how to change the font on the later section! Though I hope the last post provided you with some background. This is will be the last post in journal form and will catch you up to speed on the past week.

Thursday night I knew she was serious about beginning again, her first words when she got home were “lets get your diaper on you”. She told me we were going to start promptly on Friday (the next day) and I would be “busy” until Saturday during the day at some point. Friday was a terrible long day for me at work, my mind raced to make sense of what she was going to do, or even think of what she was going to do. I received a text during the day stating “I need you to finish your room when you get home, install the I-bolts where I instructed you. Take a shower and be waiting for me.”

Let me explain what she means by “my room”. Inside of her bathroom closet, there is a small crawl space which is about 3 feet high, 3 feet wide, 3 ½ feet deep. Just big enough for me to sit in, or curl up in a little ball. At all four corners of this “box” at I bolts and mounting rings (eight in total) four up top and four down low. She placed a 1inch thick piece of foam on the floor as padding, and we added a wooden door which literally “seals” when its shut. The door has 3 different locks on it and 9 one inch holes for “fresh air”. She’s always loved the little room, and joked about keeping me in there ever since we first looked at the house.

When she arrived home she told me I would be in Isolation for the next 15 hours, my heart literally sank. She had mentioned it the night before, but now it was obvious she was serious. “Lets go get you ready”. Was the only thing she stated upon arriving home. I was then led to the bedroom where she removed my clothes leaving me standing there in nothing but my Mature Metal Jail Bird waiting for her to return. When she did she attached her newly bought locking leather ankle and wrist cuffs, locking each one with its own pad lock. Then she removed my chastity device and laid me on the bed “You wont be able to touch yourself, even if you try” she proclaimed with a confident smile. And she was right; Laying on the bed she applied a lot of baby powder, much more than normal as she explained to me I probably would be in this same diaper for the next 18 hours. After taping on one Abena Abriform M4 X Plus (this one of the thickest adult diapers) she made long slits in it, a puzzling action. She then produced another Abriform and placed it over the one already wrapped around my waist. After slidding on pink plastic panties she gave me a rather evil smile stating “Trust me, your going to need all this”. And with that she quickly gagged me with her locking ball gag and led me to the kitchen while I waddled behind her. Sitting me down on the stool she then proceeded to explain the rules of the evening, the normal “no complaining or it’s going to be worse” mantra while she prepared my dinner; baby food.

I don’t like vegetables that much, I never have, I don’t care for them much pulverized either. She laced everything she fed me with laxatives; yogurt, bottles of milk, water, 3 different types of babyfood… she fed me until I truly felt like I was going to explode. I failed to mention she inserted two Fleet suppositories in me while she was diapering me. Then I was led to my room, chaining my hands and feet to the four points and securing each point with its own master lock, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere on my own. Upon locking my gag in she produced head phones; which caught me by surprise. “I told you I’d keep you entertained” she smiled.

What would pour from them would be my new hell; two hours of diaper/sissy regression hypnosis followed by Keyholders Binding on repeat by Elena at esuccubus.com. I was in a terrible trance, drooling because of the gag, flooding my diaper every ten minutes it seemed, this box scared me; her tactics seemed to be working. A few hours in she opened the box to check on me ( I was blind folded despite the fact no light comes into my room). I was overheating, couldn’t breathe, and pouring sweat. So she opened the door and placed a fan in front of me, and the hypnosis files kept playing over and over, I lost all perception of time.

After five hours she un chained me and let me out of the box to stretch, drink, smoke a few cigarettes (which was very wonderful of her). All I knew was I hated the box, I thought I was going to die in there! I still hadn’t produced a mess in my diaper, which upset her too the max, after explaining I hadn’t eaten that day she took me to a fast food restaurant (still in the worlds thickest diapers) to get dinner. Once we returned we watched TV and ate, I was happy to be out. She then told me to strip and lay on the bed, upon walking in the room I noticed she had attached chains at each corner of our, excuse me….her King size bed. She strapped me to the bed using a spreader bar; in went the gag, on went the blindfold and my wonderful hypnosis files were back! “Four Steps on serving: Learning to be a “Good Boy”” played for hours on repeat, everytime I had the word “good boy” on the tape I would shiver, I had a feeling these files were working, and this was my first exposure. Around 1:00am she unchained me and gave me a break, after which she told me it was time to go back in my box until morning, no restraints or files; just to sleep.  I was begging, pleading, making crazier promises, the thought of all night in there was killing me.

She told me she had to be consistent, and that 15 hours would look easy compared to 24 hours in isolation if I was terribly bad. I truly think I was about to cry, when she told me to lay down and let me sleep on the bed. She had mind-fucked me beyond belief, I must say it worked, and I could feel myself becoming more submissive. Noon came on Saturday and she finally removed my double diaper; which had to weigh ten pounds, not kidding. I still hadn’t produced a bowel movement, I was convinced she had clogged me on accident. She placed my chastity cage back on and let me shower. Saturday night was easy, after putting me into my night time diaper she chained me to the bed again; the files were back. The same dreaded voice of “Good Boy”…”Good Boy”….”Good Boy”…. The voice telling me to idolize my Mistress, when the .wav file finally ended, Mistress removed my headphones…she smiled and cooed “Good Boy”… I was chilled to the bone.

Debbie