Hate hurting her.

I think it's sad I'm so selfish at times, that I choose to jack off rather than have Sex with my own wife.   Maybe I deserve what's coming. We've had some delays in starting, yet last week she found a huge stash of my rags and boxer I used to jack off in. She was so sad and angry, she said "I finally understand why women turn their husbands into cuckolds. In time I'm going to have to find someone else, because this is so out of hand". I truly don't like hurting her, yet today she found another huge stash under the bed, she looked crushed. We had to run some errands and she was pretty quiet, I said I need to find a restroom in the store and all she said was "soon you won't have to worry about that" and walked off. I'm my own undoing I guess, she has plans apparently, I suppose we will see.