Affirmation...it's not a game.

Im coming to terms with diapers.

It may seem like we are never at home on the weekends, though I can assure this is not the case all of the time. Lately we have been gone an oddly strange amount, that's changing now. We spent the holiday weekend with Family, well sunday and monday anyway. Awakening sunday morning Mistress was not happy I hadn't messed my diaper, but this was haulted by the fact we needed to get on the road. Driving too our destination we took two cars, I received a text from Mistress B asking if I was plugged, I replied with a hesitant "...no?". She told me she though sissies should be plugged all during the day, to make them more submissive and get them use to having things up there ass....or something like that. I can tell you that was NOT a piece of advice I was passing along to Mistress, though she more than likely already recommended it to her. We enjoyed our get away and I asked Mistress B one question later in the day, if my time with her during training would be only under her roof, or if I would be leaving the house at all. Looking back I almost wish I wouldn't have asked that question. "Some in public, you need to get use to them" was her reply. Use to what I asked, which she stated "your diapers, you need to get use to wearing them 24/7 which is what your Mistress wants, this includes public". Great, one of my biggest fears...diapers in public, I want nothing to do with it! I'm a slim guy, if my pant's are puffy everyone will know, my waddle will be very obvious. "I truly wish you would re think that, I don't want to be exposed or humiliated, I don't want others to know I'm diapered ma'am" (I HAVE to address her as Ma'am and Mistress as Mistress in all communication or it adds 10 spankings to my first punishment session with her...I'm up to 81 apparently, though I think the count is off...my opinion doesn't matter).  "Thats why it's going to be fun! You'll be extra submissive which is where your Mistress needs you".   I enjoyed the day with Mistress, I'm so lucky to call her mine, and even lucky enough to begin the journey to serve her. She truly is stunning, she has a glow about her when she smiles that reinforces why I want to be with her forever when I see it. Laying in bed she had already grabbed a diaper out of the suitcase and put it on me, I was cuddled up next to her when I asked her, as nicely, as sincerely as I could... "Please don't send me to Mistress B....she's alot meaner than you, I think it's going to be a nightmare".  "No, your going, its for sure now...don't ask me again, you need to go" was all she said. Even today it became more evident, they were texting a lot, and it was obvious. Sitting on the floor eating dinner when we finally returned home Mistre
ss giggled and kept smiling when she was looking at her phone, she said "diapers in public!" in a bubbly voice, and I knew my fears had been reaffirmed. Though I'm scared do not think Mistress is crossing a hard limit, she's not. She has few limits (she knows I'd never do anything homosexually related, and she would never make me do that) but other than that she has full control. If I truly wanted to stop this process I could look her in the eye and make it end, but I see how much happier she is now. After dinner she told me to lay on the bed, she inserted the medium plug in me and put on my black thong to hold it in. "Come on, across my lap now" she said sitting on the edge of the bed with a wooden spoon in hand. I didn't even fight it, it would have been pointless.
"You were bad this weekend" as she spanked me after each of the following statements.
-Yes Mistress  I replied.
"You did NOT call me Mistress, you are to do that EVERY Time"
-Yes Mistress.
"You did not behave and you weren't respectful"
-Yes Mistress (the blows began to multiply between statements)
"You are to always hold the door for me and allow me to enter first, anywhere, anytime, no questions!"
-Yes Mistress

I understand why I must be kept in chastity now.

"You are to listen and not sigh when I ask you to do something"
-Yes Mistress (now my ass is glowing and each strike is causing me to squirm)
"You are to do whatever I say immediately with no hesitation"
-Yes Mistress
The statements stopped and the spanking continued for a few minutes
"You understand why I'm sending you to Mistress B?"
-Yes Mistress
"It's going to be hell! this spanking is going to seem like massage!"
-Yes Mistress with pain in my voice
"Your going to be sleeping standing up chained in a closet! So fun!"
-Yes Mistress
"She's not going to put up with your attitude, your ass will be raw!"
-Yes Mistress
"Do you understand what I've said sissy?"
-Yes Mistress
She left me across her lap, gently rubbing my bright red bottom. She held me for a minute then told me to get to cleaning and report back when I was done. In the middle of my attempt to shine the kitchen, she put the posture collar on me, as if the plug wasn't bad enough. An hour passed and I was done. I really needed to use the rest room but she simply replied "too bad" and ignored me. She then took me into the bedroom and told me to prepare the chains on the bed for my hypnosis files. Chaining my arms to the bed (I might add when she plugged me, she put my heels on me, they are still on) she pulled them tight, blind fold which was wrapped again to ensure darkness, and my files began being pumped into my head. The files were some I hate, because I'm an ass guy, Mistress's ass is perfect and large...the good kind of large, shes not overweight by any means. The file was focused on building a stronger ass fetish for any women I see, yet not being allowed to get off. It played on loop for what seemed like hours. When she finally turned it off I was so happy to be out of the darkness. I got up and stretched and immediately wet my diaper without thinking about it, then I messed without giving second thought.   "What was that" I thought... I walked by the window in the kitchen and looked at myself in the reflection... heels causing my ass to stick out, legs straight, diaper wrapped around me. "This is life now, this is what your becoming...at least it looks...kind of cute?" was what rushed through my mind. It's sad how scared I am of changing, I'm becoming more submissive daily, more dependent on her daily...and training truly hasn't begun. I don't think it will until she sends me to Mistress B's. Mistress said she will have my first weekend training planned and a date by mid week more than likely, and its possibly as close as the coming weekend.  When Mistress had me across her lap, Its clear shes growing much more confident. And my spankings tonight did not count towards my total tally for Mistress B's... She's still going to spank me for not addressing Mistress properly as well.

Goodnight, I hate falling asleep in a very diaper.
Debbie.