The Lock has clicked.

Well my chastity device has been locked back on, apparently for good this time. Only time will tell if that is truly the case. As I posted we are getting married in 6-7 months, naturally the planning and preparations are going to come fast and our lives are going to be a little hectic leading up to the date. We've had some discussions about how this new chapter in our lives and in the Ds lifestyle will unfold, yet not enough to hash out the details and ease my wandering mind. Her mind is on the wedding, as is mine yet mine is also consumed with the cage I'm wearing; those in chastity understand this very well.
A few nights ago (I've been diapered everynight for the past week) we had a brief discussion about it, sadly she was exhausted and passed out before we could finish. I admitted that last time I had figured out how to get off in my chastity device (pull out pin too short, longer one in now) and that I was getting off on a regular basis. I told her she messed up when she would I've into my whining and pleas, when she was afraid of hurrying me... I knew I could manipulate situations to make the process easier for me...and I had an excuse for everything. I laid everything out, because I knew this time it had to be different, for her sake. During the conversation I asked if she wanted to make our marriage a female led one. If she wanted to be in control of her husband, if keeping him as a 24/7 submissive would make her happy, if she had a live in maid,  in a chastity device which would truly keep him chaste (she wants an arch as my wedding present to her). I even told her down the road I'd be ok with cuckolding if she was serious. She agreed she wanted these things, and that it would make her happy to have all of those things. I explained if she truly wanted them, I would give them too her,  Because I do love her. So now that the chastity device is locked back on, I feel like I'm back to giving her control completely, at a time when I'm not sure she will even have the time to pay attention to me, much less lead the relationship and begin to mold and establish order in a female led relationship. I hope I'm wrong, I simply don't want to be stuck in the limbo somewhere between our normal relationship...and the new one, especially since I would be the only one in limbo.
It's not so much I'm eager to become a full time "slave", it would be much more comfortable to continue on my current path, being lazy, not doing anything around the house, getting off whenever I want, and not having to listen to anyone. But I know how I processed this last time; it takes me ALONG time until I get in to what I call "sub space". Sub space is where I listen, I'll do whatever she ask out of fear of getting in trouble. I enter this mind set where I'm proud when she praises me and except my place in the relationship, completely. I don't mind being chained to the bed for hours listening to hypnosis when I'm in sub space, the strap-on starts to feel good, I feel I deserve the punishments I get, etc. I rarely entered subspace last time, because I found a way to get off, getting off was the reset button. But it took her being consistent, diligent, and dedicated in order to get me to that place, life is simply much better when I was in sub space (as a slave). The journey to that place is the part that's not fun, I always felt when she was going to send me to another domme; that it would quickly jolt me into that place, that never happened last time sadly.
The reason that trip never happened was multiple other female dominants, she felt, were trying to tell her how to run her relationship. She got very frustrated at this, so she never sent me away and stopped talking to the both of them. Looking back I don't think they were trying to tell her how to run her life, more they were trying to help her succeed in this lifestyle, because it was new for her and myself. This concerned me somewhat, because at least from what I could see, she was much more confident and in control when she would be talking to them. She needs to have someone to discuss the lifestyle with, it's healthy. I hope she realizes this and try's and works things out, or meet new ones anyway.  I simply want this to be successful, I want her to be beyond happy, I want to be the giver of that happiness. I want her to have full complete control, to gain all the confidence that comes along with it, and the joy of having someone that dedicated to you, that's yours. I want her to know when she closes her eyes at night, that the person in the cage in the closet, or corner or wherever it is thinks that highly of her, enough to give her his entire life. I know this kind of a relationship can be beyond successful in a marriage, I've read countless stories, talked to a lot of people, and even her friend whose the dominant who lives out of state; who has a wonderful relationship with her husband, who happens to also be her sissy slave.   I suppose I'm anxious, because my device is already locked on. I just want to make her happy, and I want to get the initial shell shock, over with.

Goodnight