The beginning of another week!

Finally back in town as of late yesterday evening! I made a trip to see some family members on Sunday and Saturday the house was full of family members helping us continue our restoration efforts. It was not a very "FLR" weekend to say the least, which was fine by me since I didn't particularly enjoy the "training" session we had last week, and apparently Mistress is buying my first set of heels this week, the first of many to be added to my closet I fear. I wanted to take the time to update you and relay a conversation I had today with Mistress's mentor, as well as fulfill the request she asked of me. Last week Mistress shaved my legs and ass for the first time, my ass has finally cleared up of the proverbial red bumps, but my legs are still on fire! It seems new bumps surface every day, to clarify it was Veet, not a razor. I don't like the thought of being hairless from the neck down, but I understand why it must happen...so if it must happen I want it to be done right, and smooth after. I suppose if the goal is to get me to feel "feminine", it's defiantly not going to happen if my legs are covered in razor burn. I think we're going to have to figure out a way to remove my hair and not irritate my skin. I know it can be done, it's simply going to take time to figure out how to do it properly. My hair is pretty thick, so removing it is a challenge.

I have a feeling it will be something along
the  lines like this.

"No one can tell, I Promise."

On another note, I may need thicker diapers, or a booster pad at nights. I've never had this problem before, the Abriform's have always held anything I have put in them, but I'm finding myself flooding them at night. From the moment I lay down until I get changed in the morning I normally wet them three times. Yet it seems I am wetting them much more than normal as of late; not sure what this means. I noticed it Sunday morning when I woke up, I got up and started wetting them again, and pee was running down my leg?! Today the same thing happened. Luckily I was standing up and not in bed (Mistress would have put me in them 24/7 if I got the bed wet). I feel like I am "use" to them, when I'm wearing them I don't even think about going, I simply just "go"... which freaks me out in some ways. In other ways it makes me realize even though there haven't been a lot of major changes yet; they are coming...and perhaps some of the biggest changes to be made will slowly happen over time. My biggest fear of all is when I am forced to make the switch to 24/7 and having to wear them under my clothes in public. I just know Mistress will make sure my shirt rides high when that happens and my pants fit tight, since the bulk of the diaper pushes your pants slightly down; it greatly increases your odds of being noticed. I think that will be her goal, and I have full faith she will make sure they are extra thick, so my waddle is just right. I have this slight feeling public diaper humiliation will be on my agenda many times before the end of the year. Thought I believe at that point I won't fight it and will simply except it if Mistress continues training aggressively. The thought of being seen like that makes my heart pump rather fast, I have a feeling my cheeks would be red the entire time, or will be red! The thought of public exposure, or any exposure makes me nervous, and it's something I've thought about alot actually. I know it's only a matter of time before it happens but I want certain things to fall in place before it does; I want training to be much more constant so I'm in a much more submissive state of mind, I want the "transformation" to be much further along so I've begun to accept my new role. We'll see if that happens, consistency is going to be key, not sure if consistency will be consistent enough. Only time will tell!

In regards to the conversation I wanted to tell you about, it was with Mistress's mentor, Amy. Mistress found Amy on chastitymansion.com through my thread in the Vault section. Amy is a seasoned veteran when it comes to the world of chastity, forced feminization, and diaper humiliation. She's been leading a FLR with her husband for over five years, not to mention she's only 28! Which makes her much more relatable to Mistress and myself since she's only a few years older. Her and Mistress were inseparable in the beginning, and their conversations would go on for weeks it seemed. Well she sent me a chat today when I got home from work and it began simple enough with her checking in since she said she had not talked to Mistress in several days. Mistress does not log into the mansion on a daily basis, unlike myself. She asked me how things were going, I sought refuge through her during the beginning phases of this process, I needed someone to talk to about my concerns and she was happy to keep our conversations to herself. Mistress does know we talk and is happy that I have a means to vent and get rid of my concerns. Amy has been a huge help to me, and may be the only reason Mistress has the confidence this time to succeed. She truly does have a wonderful heart and has given me tons of advice, such as "If your Mistress ever uses the lifestyle against you when she's angry over something vanilla, huge red flag, if she ever punishes you because she's stressed or angry about her work day, huge red flag. This is for the safety of your relationship. It's not fair for her to ever take anger out on you through this lifestyle, that's not what this is about!" When she told me that I knew she had our best interest at heart, I'm not sure if she's told Mistress that but I feel that's something very important to remember. 

Max Cita, if my ass looked like that
I might be more receptive to this
process!

Following my update that everything was fine we we're simply busy, she informed me she needed to give Mistress some notes and asked me if I was excited about getting my own Max Cita (straight jacket, a very constricting one it looks like). Mistress has brought this up many times, I know she want's one and as much as she's talked to me about it and showed me pictures...I'm starting to want one! I think it's a tool she will use regularly, and it looks rather fun!

Now that I've given you a small introduction on who Mistress's mentor is, I will tell you about our conversation. She asked if I had any current concerns, which led into a conversation about feminization and slowly transforming into a true "sissy". "Are you enjoying the strap on?" was one of the first questions she asked, I told her I wasn't yet she assured me in time I would beg Mistress for it and assured me in due time it would be my only means of actual "sex". She also asked if Mistress what emotions I felt when I had to suck Mistress's strap on, that freaked me out! "Whats the point in sucking a dildo?" She told me I needed the practice, well safe to say Mistress has not done that yet, it hasn't come anywhere near my mouth!  We also discussed my fear of public exposure, especially with diapers. She told me her sissy "Jenny" loves going out in public diapered now, and that once my feminization progresses it will be much easier, and I think I agree with that. "Once your body becomes smooth as silk, your skin is a glowing tan, your corset as giving you the perfect curve and you see yourself in the mirror with a beautiful wig and make up, I think then you will see this is truly your place...you want to look beautiful, not ridiculous". Perhaps she's right, though I think my Mistress has alot of work today before that point, as do I. Lastly she told me she sent Mistress some inspiration, which she asked for. Not entirely sure what that means yet, though I do hope the consistency picks back up (flash backs to last time), so that if we are going to do this, it gets done right. I meant to post this last night, it's now Tuesday morning. Will update tonight after training, if we have any.