Trying to grasp what's ahead, and coming to terms

Today was rather uneventful, Mistress's birthday is soon so I gave her present to her early this evening, her excitement and happiness made it all worth it. That happiness I see is truly why I feel I have agreed to this journey in the first place. Looking back I never knew where this would go, had no idea on the world of Femdom, FLR, feminization, or possibly cuckolding. When I first showed Mistress the chastity device I had no idea where the road would take me, or even if it would evolve to something other than bedroom kink. I have a strong feeling this "third" time around will be the last, something different is in the air, her demeanor is more dominant, I can tell she truly wants this. These thoughts force my mind to ponder the "what if's" and "what will you become", will you still have your significant other? Will she ever seek another man for sex down the road? Will this build or destroy your relationship? Will YOU be happy?
These are all question I have thought long and hard about, and honestly I believe I have found the anwsers I have been looking for...it all boils down to trust. I trust her with my life, so I will trust her with me. Saying someone "owns" you is a rather large statement with alot of weight behind it. If someone had to "own" me, I would want it to be her. I can't imagine anyone I trust more. The thought of the relationship changing is the subject I have given the most of my time too. I realize my life will not be the same. I'm sitting here in bed in a wet diaper as I type this; the relationship has already changed. We still talk normally, hug, kiss, laugh, and be a couple...
and I know as this progresses those things will occur less often. I enjoy sleeping next to her, but she's mentioned several times that soon I will be sleeping in a kennel next to her bed...and you know what? I'm ok with that. In fact, I'm looking forward to it. Not sure if the hypnosis files have changed me or if I have simply excepted my soon to be role as a slave to a Mistress I love. Why would I look forward to sleeping in a kennel? Because it's yet another sign of devotion to her, and when you don't have a say in the matter it's best to love what's coming your way! Makes it much easier!
I know that when she's not using me, in time that won't mean "free time for me" rather it will mean being "put away until needed". Simple things I took for granted all being washed away, such as a toilet, sex, bathing myself, boxers...oh how I miss those. I keep trying to look at the big picture and I find I'm ok with it.
I know over time the dynamic of the relationship will continue to shift, until it gets situated to where she wants it.  I know all these things are coming, yet it still doesn't feel "real" yet, despite the revelations of the past week. Training hasn't begun, no true set of rules has been set in stone that I know of. I still sit on the couch with her, still talk to her as I please. I'm not running around the house in heels and a maid uniform yet, when she starts to teach me how she wants me to walk, sit, kneel, and etc...I think it will sink in more, or maybe it will be when she locks me in a kennel for the evening for bed, maybe it will be when my diaper is exposed in public or to a friend of hers, maybe it won't be until I see it in her eye that things have truly changed. Regardless of what happens, I'm doing this for her, I want her to be happy beyond measure. And if that happiness comes from her molding me into her perfect slave, then I suppose I'm going to strive to be the best one I can be. I believe this will make me happy, and as for our relationship; it's going to make us inseparable and stronger than ever...and I suppose in my mind; that's worth everything. Though I know there will be many times during this process I want it to end, and just go back to normal, I believe I will grow to accept it fully. All change is difficult, but sometimes with change...comes progress.

Debbie